Finally! I can update without fear of anyone looking over my shoulder.
My mom left for Beijing, China this morning. I'm really sad about it. Usually, we get in each other's way, but I cried last night. Well, at least she'll be back in two weeks (with presents ^-^)
You know, I just realized that I'm so used to my dad leaving, but not my mom. I remember when we first went to China, my dad stayed behind at first. That was probably that longest time that he's been away (10 months). And, my dad goes on business trips like every month, and when ever he goes, it's by the weeks. His company is even thinking of buying him an apartment there. So I guess all dad's trips have made me really dependant on my mom. I mean, no matter what she'll always been there, at home for me and my little sister. Ok, I have to stop, because I'm starting to cry. Really.
I've decided to start my own guild. That's so like me. But first, I REALLY need someone that knows advanced html and css. I only know that basics.
I've decided to take my little, tiny adoption agency to the next level.
Kevin and his family left two days ago. I really like Kevin. I don't know if this really makes sense, but for some reason I really want to impress him, but I don't have a crush on him. He's going to college in september, er, actually he's joining the air force.
Now that my grandparents are really coming, I'd much rather trade them for mom.
Sometimes when my mom tells me off for something that really wasn't my fault, I really feel hurt. I just want her to love me. Sometimes, I feel that she really loves my little sister more than she loves my. And that hurts even more because I know that before, she used to love me more. Whenever she gets mad at me, she'll say stuff like "why can't you be more like jennifer" or "Jennifer is just so much better than you". I know that I should be mad at my mom for saying these things, but instead I hate Jennifer for them. I know this might just sound like jealousy, but it's not. Jennifer is so two faced. When she's around my mom, she always acts like I'm bugging her, but when she's with me, she's always slamming the door in my face. And when my mom ask what's wrong, jen blames it on my somehow, and my mom usually believes her. I just can't stand it. One other time, My little sister was yelling to my mom upstairs to come down, but my mom couldn't hear her. Then I told her that that was disrespectful, and that she should let mom come down to talk to her, and that she should go up to talk to mom. Well, she got mad, and stomped upstairs and grumbled something to mom. Mom knew that I had said something to her to make her angry, and then she got mad at me too. I wish that she had ask what is was that I had said first. It makes me just want to fall over and die.
I just wish that I could make her see that it's jennifer that's the one with the attitude problem, and I'm the one that loves her most, and tries the hardest to make her happy.